Oh wow April, wow. :’)
The beginning of April also the start of Ramadhan month. I didn’t fasting on the first week because I was on my period. The first April also I found my interest in a new sport. It wasn’t a popular sport here and I haven’t tried it before, but the first time I try, I know I’ll love it. I tried another sport before and all I want is strive to be the best, but this sport, all I want is to enjoy it and letting it be part of me.
This month I finally watched Hey Arnold The Jungle Movie , where he finally got happy ending :’) I also downloaded another Nickelodeon movie like The Wild Thornberrys complete series and also Hey arnold complete series, I plan to watch it during Sahoor like I always did back in the days, but I haven’t watch the rest of the series again until now because I don’t know why I’m sooo tired.
Okay let’s do a story time
It started with a baby-G watch. It was very popular back when I was in primary school, eventhough I only had one, but that watch was my pride and joy. I bought it at one of the mall in my town with my best friend Intan and my mom. I still remember that day to this day. I remember how I hesitate to use my pocket money from my dad to bought it, but you know, I don’t literally think about it at that time, so I went to the money changer and exchange the money from my dad to the local currency, and bought the watch. After that my mom also bought Intan a watch of her choice, then we had lunch together.
Now in 2022, I want one of that watch again, the color is white and the strap is rubber now not like my previous one.
I haven’t buy it yet, but I was planning to buy it with Intan again to reminisce the old time haha. I checked my whatsapp and it seems like she deleted her whatsapp, because there’s no notification of a changed number. So I went to instagram because we followed each other there. Actually we lost contact in 2015-2018 until I found her instagram in 2018.
Actually every Ramadhan, they always visited my house but sometimes when I went out to visit my family, the house is empty so we didn’t meet, but they always come visit.
Okay, back to the story, I checked her instagram and I remember she was posting ig story few days ago but I didn’t open it since I was very busy and only open instagram to check dm from my friends, but she often viewed my ig story too. There’s no new post, so I thought she must busy too with her new job. So I just scroll her ig and stalking her tagged pictures. I saw her high school photos with her friends and decided to check the page.
I wasn’t really pay attention before but I saw her picture on the recent update. But I still scrolling her high school ig page, I thought she was the admin of that page. I came back to the recent posts and there I read that it is the picture of her with caption of her passed away earlier on April. Of course I didn’t believe, it might be a prank, sometimes people pull of such a crazy prank, right?
I didn’t follow her sister and brother but I know them, so I searched their ig through Intan’s ig and I found it. Thankfully they didn’t private their account.
My heart sank.
I think the story that I saw few days ago was her sister making ig story on her behalf to sent the news to her friends on ig about her passing because her sister saved the story in her ig highlights and her brother making video of her photos throughout the years from childhood to recent, including the date when she was born and when she was passed away.
Like I said, this month is Ramadhan and I’m already fasting again. From what I’ve been taught before that crying can break your fast so I tried my best to not cry and be strong for her. I know she wants me to be happy because everything that she did whenever we spent time together was to made me happy.
I don’t want to lose contact with her family and I plan to visit her grave and her family house to meet her son and family. But like I said, her whatsapp is gone. So I asked my mom to dm her sister and brother to ask about her exact new address (because she only told me to meet at my campus and she will pick me up because it’s near) and her family number (to know more about the details). Yea, I couldn’t bring myself to contact them, I don’t know why, maybe I’m still in denial, or scared, but I know that I’m really sad.
Now I’m just remembering how fun our childhood was. I’m glad she was my first best friend, a real friend. Her family was just like my own family. I love them with all my heart. I even told my mom that I want to buy our old house back because it holds special memory of me growing up and experiencing all beautiful experience. But now I hesitate, am I going to be happy there or it will bring back the memory and I get sad because things are not the way they were? Anyway, Intan’s old house only one house away from my house, it changed a lot, but my old house stay exactly the same, they didn’t even change the fence. But the house has very good aura in it. I’m still thinking about it. Should I buy it or not?
Damn, I miss her. Does she know? My mom told me that the reason I’ve been thinking of her even before I knew the news is her trying to comfort me, to let me know that she’s okay.
I always pray that she’s okay. She will be okay.
Note: I wrote about her and her family in this post if you don’t mind checking to know how much she and her family is part of my life when I was in my childhood, it gave me goosebumps that I wrote it on April 27, 6 years ago